Saying yes when it feels like a no. Taking on another responsibility when your plate is already full. Sacrificing your own health and wellness out of guilt for telling someone else “no.” Do any of these ring a bell for you? Each one of these is a result of soft boundaries.
So, what can you do to create a specific set of fierce boundaries for your time and commitment? One that makes sure you’re not left overextending yourself, saying yes out of guilt, or running on empty?
Let’s talk about just that today!
First things first: before you can set boundaries, you need to know exactly what those boundaries are.
To do this, take some time to sit with yourself and reflect on the areas of your life that could use some boundary setting. Maybe it’s with a well-meaning but overly involved in-law. Maybe it’s a client that likes to flood your inbox in the middle of the night. Perhaps it’s a friend that demands more of your attention than you can realistically offer.
Make a list of these areas and people that could stand to have some loving yet fierce boundaries set around them.
It can be overwhelming to implement a bunch of boundaries all at once. Instead, I encourage you to pick one to begin with. This will help you begin to get more comfortable with the boundary-setting process, and it can then get easier as you institute additional boundaries in other areas of your life.
Whenever possible, stating these boundaries ahead of time is ideal.
For example, let’s say you want to work on setting boundaries with clients.
Rather than waiting until a client sends you that middle-of-the-night email, let them know what your boundaries are ahead of time. One way to do this is having a new client welcome email that outlines your communication and service boundaries in a professional way. Having this email template ready to go can give you a lot of peace of mind and save you uncomfortable conversations in the future.
That being said, there will still be times when these boundaries are pushed. This is true whether we’re talking about a client with high-needs, a family member who wants more of your time than you can give, or any other commitments in your life.
In many cases, this is when the truly hard work begins. Sticking to these boundaries is tough. It can be uncomfortable. They can come with guilt. But remember this: boundaries serve not only you, but everyone else in your life!
When your schedule and life is set up with fierce boundaries, you are the best version of yourself. That means you are a better parent, a better client, a better boss, a better friend. The ripple effect of setting boundaries is one that can benefit everyone and everything in your life. (Not to mention, seeing you set these boundaries for yourself can encourage those around you to do the same!)
When you discover how to set boundaries for yourself, everything changes. So let’s get started! Looking for more support in setting up fierce boundaries in life and business? I’m here to help. Learn about how we can work together here.
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